A Letter to My Estranged Sister

I only pretend to be okay with it.

Dear sister,

You hurt me.

I considered you one of my best friends.

We were supposed to take on the world together. To show them who we were and what we could do.

You were one of my rocks. You supported me and helped me understand other perspectives.

All of our deep conversations have stuck in my heart, planted themselves so that I will remember your wisdom even in my old age.

The times we spent running around as children or sneaking into forbidden areas are memories that used to make me happy. Now they awaken feelings of loss, sadness, anger.

My older sister. Someone to look up to. Someone to run to when the world was falling apart. Someone to protect me from the cinders when everything burned.

I wanted you to be happy for me. All that I asked was for your understanding.

Now you’re gone. A hollow hole lies where you once were.

I miss you. You’re still out there moving about on your own. Taking on the world without me. Showing the people who you are and what you can do.

I wanted to be there with you. I wanted to stand next to you with my head held high. Sisters united.

But my head falls low. I don’t have you anymore.

My feelings never seemed to matter to you.

Once a sister, loving and unconditional, now feels like an enemy ready to strike at my moment of weakness.

I needed you. But you didn’t show up. You didn’t support me.

Everything you once were to me crumbled like a burning building, with no protection from the cinders.

Burnt and head held low, I keep moving. Because one day, I want to understand why.

I still want your understanding and support.

I still need you as an older sister.

Do you still need me?

With love,

Your little sister

Writer. Avid reader. Stay-at-home astronaut. Prone to be obsessive when I really like something.

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